TV bored me into reading when I was a kid – which my brother totally took advantage of to pop in his well-worn VHS copy of ‘Grease.’ I swear he waited with anticipation through the whole movie just to watch Sandy gyrate at the school carnival in black leather pants. He must have watched it 300 times before he turned 14. (Hmm, this might be a clue as to why my oldest son watches the season DVDs of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and imitates Spike. Yea, a 12-year-old copping a bad British accent vampire style… and he wants me to take him seriously. Bloody hell!)
Before 1996 I used to drive my husband, Jimmy, nuts with my viewing habits. I could never sit through a whole movie or TV show without wandering out of the room to be busy with something – anything — else. Which sorta ruled out couple snuggle night with popcorn — if you know what I mean.
What happened in ’96 that turned me into the super-cushy couch potato I am today? We bought a new TV. Yeaah, babyyyy!
As a kid I had 60% and 40% hearing loss in my ears. Watching colorful images with people opening and shutting their mouths did not capture my attention. Reading ‘Little House on the Prairie,’ ‘The Chronicles of Narnia,’ ‘The Secret Garden’ and ‘Little Women‘ did. As I got older my hearing improved but not enough to make TV worthwhile.
If you lived in Central California in 1996 and saw a red-eyed-purpled-haired-20-something-year-old eagerly waiting in line at Blockbuster with a stack of videos murmuring “Wow that’s why the Pelican Brief is so damn interesting” — that was me. A new law had passed and captioning for the hearing impaired was mandatory on all new television sets. Closed Captioned (cc) TV changed my life forever. I actually gave a shit as to where the remote control was. I spent six days and nights on the couch experiencing rented movie madness.
Jump Forward
Now come with me into the present time. I’m standing in front of the TV, watching a commercial by my absolute favorite store, Target. The tune is catchy. I wiggle, tap my feet and think “Ahhhh time for school to start again.” These cute kids run around the screen with bright, flashy, hip school wear and they literally ooze glee (hey it’s marketing, of course NO kid in their right mind would be happy to go back to Bullyville and homework). Next I’m singing…
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist.
And a round thing in your face”
Wait, what… hold on here! How did THAT song sneak it’s way into my head? I had just shaken it out from the ‘Friends‘ episode a year ago (two years?) where Rachel sings it to her baby trying to get a smile. Really, it’s that STICKY. Now how the hell did it get back in?
I looked at the TV with suspicion and listened intently. No, that can’t be right. They’re playing that song to those little kids in backpacks? I walk closer to the TV and watched the white text scroll through the black box on the bottom of the screen.
“We like backpacks and we can not lie. With a cell phone pocket on the side. Those old backpacks were a fashion risk but can a cool backpack exist? Baby, I’m back…at school.”
Holy mother of god! They are using that song, but with different lyrics. No, that little girl just didn’t shake her butt at me. She’s showing me her err… back… pack.
Torn, I was totally torn between hysterical laughter and well… ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Does anyone REMEMBER the original lyrics to that song? Seriously, I don’t want to be thinking ‘Rump-o’-smooth-skin’ when looking at those kids.
All week I’ve battled with ‘why’ I feel this commercial is so wrong. I finally figured it out. It’s simple, Target is using sex to sell. Which is really, and obviously, nothing new in terms of hawking products. Normally, I’ve no problem with using sex to sell. What I do have a problem with is having this lyric going through my head
“Cause I’m long, and I’m strong
And I’m down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!”
and looking at a child sauntering around shaking a backpack. Yes, the words were changed — but the STRONG association to what Sir-Mix-A-Lot was selling with that tune wasn’t.
Now this song was heeelarious when Jennifer Aniston’s character, Rachel, sang it on ‘Friends.’ But guess what! We were looking at HER ass, not the baby’s.
Pedophiles of the world are slobbering. Do you get it? I can’t ‘hear it’ and I get it.
[technorati tags: parenting kids target mommy blog commercials ]
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Genevieve Hinson is a social media coordinator for Children's Hospital Central California. She's also a writer, wife and mom to two boys and a girl. The opinions she expresses here are her own, as is her obsession for coffee.
